Friday, September 12, 2008
1 month and 10 days of truthful memories...
(cough cough cough) annoying cough... suffering from it every single day.. but i would still like to take this opportunity to tell you how i have always felt..
i could not believe the cute and sweet feeling in me to you would grow with the presence of trees, bugs, muds, leeches and many more little creatures.. ( the day that a whole community were having their best time in their life )2nd of August,
the day that we make our promise - our very first day.. from that day onwards the way we look at each other was already in another specific way.. i always wanted to hide my flaws from you and gain your compliments... but never once you compliment me.. not even a single word that would bring me to joy.. instead you always tease me and laugh or take whatever serious matter that i tell you, humorously... after more than a week.. i know you way better than last time.. i know you do not like to be serious in almost all the things.. you want to take things lightheartedly... you always wanted happiness to be in your routine...but you never even thought of responsibilities that you have to carry or even about me.. after thinking for a few nights, i have to make the decision that i never thought i will make.. is to let you go (that was what you wanted at the beginning of the day) i am sorry that i have wasted so much of your time.. when the decision was made, the feelings begin to fade..till no more.. as your important exams are coming, i was worried about you.. thinking how playful you are... would you be able to cope up? i came up with something that i thought it will be easier for you to go on with your tasks... as i was preparing for the surprise.. the long lost feeling had returned.. was it worthy to prepare so much for you as i have a lot of crisis that i have to come to a solution? 8th of September.. the day that i can't explain with words.. it was supposed to be a memorable day... but it wasn't after all... disappointment is the only word that is appropriate to describe the feeling in me.. you told me the secret that you have been hiding from day one... how could you be so cruel? so mean? i always thought my smile and my presence mean a lot to you (as that was what you said) but actually you just needed me to be there (beside you) to replace someone that you have longing for .. not even realizing you had hurt me, you expected me to accept it.. and be happy for you being very honest..Today,
12th of September 2008... the day that i would really want things to come to an end.. my close friend, she is hurt.. badly hurt.. emotionally..as i know what was the reason causes her pain, tears were already accumulating at my eyes as they were waiting for me to give a signal that would allow them to flow.. as i know what is the meaning of letting go.. and giving up.. *****, i am giving up.. i do not want anything anymore.. stay away.. let me go.. let today be a very important day to me.. as i would like to declare that me and you has come to an end..
-ykjy-
p.s. knowing you secretly looking at me... really causes me to throw a thousands words at you that wanted you to know... i really don't hate you.. go for her as there are uncountable reasons that she is better than me...
Posted by dark-wings at 9/12/2008 05:20:00 PM